Monday, August 25, 2008

Crazy *^$@ Drivers

While driving down a single lane urban street (Montrose) I almost brought the smack down to the driver in front of me.

We all space out from time to time and are late to accelerate after a red light turns to green. For this we are, usually, given a honk. Not an angry honk - just a "wake up" honk. There are impatient jerks that give the angry honk. Rejects!~ I wait a solid 5 seconds before I honk in a friendly case. And today was no different. But my politeness failed me. Miserably. Driving in front of me was one of the most self absorbed, crazy idiots I've ever encountered on the road. She was driving an early 1990s make deep red mustang. She was late taking off from every light, every stop sign and swerving in her own lane. This wasn't just a one-time, few seconds thing. It went on and on. Even after a few cars behind me honked at her, she continued with the same erratic and unpredictable behavior. She rode the brake continually. What the heck was wrong with this person? She was READING.

Yes, folks. Her eyes were clearly visible to me from her rear view mirror. They were certainly not on the road. And not just when she was at a light. She would accelerate and her glance would not change. She'd swerve, stop 20 feet before a stop sign. It felt endless! I had a construction tractor behind me who was giving her little honks to get moving. Nothing like being in the middle of an idiot driver and large construction vehicle with a claw!

She was driving like there was no one else around. Like her actions affected no one else. If she was reading something juicy or good, then she must have decided to read it twice. After 2 miles of this crap, I decided to stop the denial and take matters into my own hands. I dug deep. In my Mom-mobile, Subaru Forester, I laid on the horn and yelled out my window "YOU'RE GONNA KILL SOMEONE, STOP READING!". To this i was greeted by both her hands (printout attached) waving her fists at me. OOOO bring it on lady, I'd like nothing more than to kick your self centered, crazy butt! I, intentionally, drove out of my way to get away from this crackpot. I'm so glad I did.

Now for all you prudes out there. This was not anger, it was righteous indignation. Seriously, it wasn't emotionally driven, it was logical. This time.

Snaps to Leon Ryan who made this tee design at the top for

Beware the justice-seeking Mom-mobile.

3 explorers in an expanding universe:

Laura S said...

Ok, that is officially crazy! Glad you did the smart thing and got out of the way. Seriously, what are people thinking?

Roxanne said...

i lov ethis story, makes me wish there was a smack down- you are short but I know you could take her, your tough as nails :) I knwo I would never sign up to fight ya!! Anni LOVES her stroller from Ais- she walks it around ALL DAY! it has already incited some onlookers from the hood as well as Anni goes around our house with it- thanks so much!!

Justin said...

Ugh! People make me so mad!