At the Park

I have no idea why I, personally, cross paths with people who have high affinity for crap. Literal crap.

Last year while finishing a 6 mile run on a HOT August day I needed a drink. I cut through Welles Park to stop at a water fountain (this is a nice park - not a ghetto). When I found one, I approached the fountain the same time as a dog walker who had a plastic grocery bag in his hand. Rather than let me go (c'mon I was sweaty, red and breathing harder than he was) - he immediately turned his empty grocery bag inside out and proceeded to wash some brown gunk out of it into the drinking fountain. His dog and woman were off to the side of the path. I gave him a disgusted 'that is gross' and then started running - still thirsty. The man is an imbecile. Even it was chocolate ice cream did he have to wash it out in a drinking fountain? And since he was so intent on washing - why not let me go first, huh?

This past week my kids and I visited one of my favorite parks (Manor Park). It has a nice layout and picnic tables where we have lunch or snacks. I overheard a mom oh-so-sweetly ask her toddler "why didn't you tell me you had a poopie". Normal enough in my world. I don't want my kid sitting in their own feces either. Then the woman, proceeds to change her poopie toddler on the picnic table. No, not on the wide bench, but the tabletop. No changing pad, paper or coat beneath the kid. No barrier between my future picnic and her kid's leftover crap! What's wrong with people? I didn't say anything but was VERY aggravated.

I think I'll have to start carrying around a pack of bleach wipes. Sometimes it's just cleaner to eat on the grass.

Night Painting

I am a plein air painter. I paint outdoors at my easel. I paint around Chicago. This past Saturday night I painted, for the first time, at night. Yep. I bought a coal-miner-style headlamp from Target and redorkulated and everything.

A small faction of the Plein Air Painters of Chicago (PAPC) headed to scenic Riverside, IL for this night paintout. It was in the hopes of creating some spooky or creepy, yet realistic, paintings for Poefest (a tribute to Edgar Allan Poe - Oct. 26 6PM @ Stars and Cigars in Berwyn).

At any rate, it was an interesting expereience and I wasn't quite sure what color paint I was putting on paper. But it was fun and I had a good time (see my painting above).

Riverside, IL is this crazy cool suburb where little kids can ride their bikes all over town when they're 7. It's that safe. It's like Mayberry. While I was painting some older boys rode up to me to check what the heck I was doing in their town painting with a headlamp. Well, they were out of high school (19) and riding their bikes around town on a Sat night (real achievers). After I explained what I was doing, they continued to hang out. I was finished so I packed up. They're still yapping away to each other and calling some girl on a cell phone. Then one guy asked me for my phone number! What the? I said "no, you can't have it". He said "why?" - I said, because I'm somebody's mamma! "So what" he said. I said "I'm married". Then I said "I'm 37". This, to my great pleasure, was recieved with much surprise. The instigator said "oh, I thought you were 19". His buddy, the smarter of the pair, - said "wow, you don't look older than 27". They made my night!! Sweet 27!

It gets better.

While chewing the fat with a few fellow night painters, at the local corner ice cream shop (it's so picturesque I could barf) - a gal asked me if I was "Becky". It was my old friend from grade school and high school - Halenia! Wow! She just moved to Riverside with her family from Chicago. She looked fab! She was always very cool - very athletic and smart - and from the old neighborhood. She told me I look exactly the same. I interpreted that to mean "same weight". It's not true but I'll take it!! Woohoo! I was no skinny biotch back in HS but I'm 15-20 pounds heavier now. Although I am very fit now. My abs, aside from the mommy trauma, are better than back then.

Ok, now that I'm looking at the photo of my abs - I'm wondering what *!@$ possessed me to put it up there in the first place! It's this - I work hard in the gym and am proud of being fit - even if it doesn't translate into a perfectly flat stomach or perfect body. If I can be proud, so you can you. So don't believe all that media hype gals! We ARE good enough. Oh, and flatness doesn't mean strength. I have strong abs with a layer of fat over it for good measure :-) (I'm crazy)

I digress.

This is what happens when you don't blog for awhile. And, no, I have not been drinking while blogging.

Crazy *^$@ Drivers

While driving down a single lane urban street (Montrose) I almost brought the smack down to the driver in front of me.

We all space out from time to time and are late to accelerate after a red light turns to green. For this we are, usually, given a honk. Not an angry honk - just a "wake up" honk. There are impatient jerks that give the angry honk. Rejects!~ I wait a solid 5 seconds before I honk in a friendly case. And today was no different. But my politeness failed me. Miserably. Driving in front of me was one of the most self absorbed, crazy idiots I've ever encountered on the road. She was driving an early 1990s make deep red mustang. She was late taking off from every light, every stop sign and swerving in her own lane. This wasn't just a one-time, few seconds thing. It went on and on. Even after a few cars behind me honked at her, she continued with the same erratic and unpredictable behavior. She rode the brake continually. What the heck was wrong with this person? She was READING.

Yes, folks. Her eyes were clearly visible to me from her rear view mirror. They were certainly not on the road. And not just when she was at a light. She would accelerate and her glance would not change. She'd swerve, stop 20 feet before a stop sign. It felt endless! I had a construction tractor behind me who was giving her little honks to get moving. Nothing like being in the middle of an idiot driver and large construction vehicle with a claw!

She was driving like there was no one else around. Like her actions affected no one else. If she was reading something juicy or good, then she must have decided to read it twice. After 2 miles of this crap, I decided to stop the denial and take matters into my own hands. I dug deep. In my Mom-mobile, Subaru Forester, I laid on the horn and yelled out my window "YOU'RE GONNA KILL SOMEONE, STOP READING!". To this i was greeted by both her hands (printout attached) waving her fists at me. OOOO bring it on lady, I'd like nothing more than to kick your self centered, crazy butt! I, intentionally, drove out of my way to get away from this crackpot. I'm so glad I did.

Now for all you prudes out there. This was not anger, it was righteous indignation. Seriously, it wasn't emotionally driven, it was logical. This time.

Snaps to Leon Ryan who made this tee design at the top for Threadless.com

Beware the justice-seeking Mom-mobile.

Running in Polyester

Last Thursday I joined a herd of Elvis's in running 3 miles along Chicago's beautiful lakefront. At the end the organizers had peanut butter and banana sandwiches - which I tried for the first time (not bad - taste like childhood - but I've never ate it back then), there were also bagles, mini organic cupcakes (read: which are overpriced and would never buy but delicious and they allowed to have more than 1) and then washed it all down with my free Goose Island 312 Beer. The greatest part, besides running along the lakefront with my friend and fellow Mama, Laura Studee, is that somehow, we were at the very front of all the food lines! Wow we must have had some FAST running times. I'm glad because the tee shirts were crappy this year. White and only "adult sizes" - no girly cuts. Sometimes life just works out that way. It was a gorgeous evening and I rode my bike 7 miles downtown as well as the return trip. I need to get some blinking lights for my self. It's dangerous out there without 'em. I met up with my old friend Jim Madsen whom I've known since church sunday school days at the Northside gospel center and high school (that's us above - I think he secretly wants boobs). We all run in polyester shirts these days as they are "wicking". It makes a difference, but they stink up pretty fast. I wonder if Elvis knew polyester would be the technical, future fabric. Perhaps he was testing it in all his jumpsuits for the Secret Service. hmmm

McGyver at the Tender age of 2

It's August in Chicago. That means that it's hot, really hot - and humid. On days like this the TV goes on in our house and remains permenantly on PBS Kids. It's an outright battle to peel the kids away from the tube for menial things like, food. They argue, cry, etc. I've done what the smart moms have done for eons; turn off the TV to go out or do something fun. They turn it back on. I turn off the power to the entertainment armoir (sounds like a kinky room - "entertainment armoir). But both kids have learned to turn that back on. Finally, I pulled out the armoir, and yanked out the plug entirely. Guess what, a little 5 year old arm learned how to plug it back in. I know this not because I saw her do it but because I, all of a sudden, heard the TV back on. Such a sneak.

Now, my 2 year old hasn't mastered replugging in the TV (thank goodness). But she has mustered all the electronic and electrical knowlege she has. She took out the cables to the Wii and plugged them into the TV thinking it would make the TV go on. Wow, I was impressed. I shouldn't be surprised when she starts stripping cables and hotwiring our car.