Bewitched, Bothered and bewildered...

Indigo, my 4 year old daughter, would like to be Cassie from Dragon Tales for Halloween. This is only upon learning that a ‘Zak and Wheezie’ costume doesn’t exist because kids only have one head where Zak and Wheezie have two. The other dragon head would just flop around. The Cassie costume has a foam mask and a kid puts their own head through the mouth. It’s a strangulation hazard. For this reason it’s dangerous to sleep in this costume. I explained this to Indi and she clearly understood. I was surprised by the ease of her understanding. She added that the costume (thin fleece) is also hot and itchy hence uncomfortable for sleep. Wow, I thought I caught a break as costume warden. Before I retired for the night, I checked on the girls. It was to my true surprise (and there aren’t many surprises in life) to find Indigo in full Cassie costume, in bed, sound asleep with the face mask on. Not to mention the ceiling fan, formerly turned off by me, was at full throttle. I immediately undressed her as the costume was on over her jammies. She woke up in the morning none the wiser. Clever stinker. I count myself fortunate. Last year Indi was a Yellow school bus! I lovingly made this out of upholstery foam and wall paint.

Indi is always thinking of “excusable” reasons to get out of bed (go to the bathroom, needs a drink, etc.). The other night topped all. After wrangling her to bed and 20 minutes of peace and quiet Indi called down the stairs to me in desperation and frustration. “I need help, I can’t get this diaper crème off of me!”. Huh? I thought. Perplexed I ran upstairs. She ‘says’ she had to use the toilet. When I asked her why she got in to the diaper crème she said her “butt itched” (she’s learning how to wipe her own bottom these days and may not have been as thorough as is required -lesson learned). When I entered the bathroom, there was white, pasty diaper crème everywhere. A solid hand print on the mirror over the sink (accessible only from climbing onto the sink counter). There were fingerprints all over the door knob, toilet lid, cabinet doors and especially the faucet. I turned her around to find her behind loaded with white, waterproof diaper crème. Good ol’ baby wipes did the best job. Toilet paper just smeared it around. I had to change clothes afterward as I was covered in diaper creme too! That must have been quite an itch Indi!

Indi loves elevators, escalators, and anything mechanical you can ride on. While at Ikea I decided to take a nearby escalator down rather than walk half way across the store to the elevator. With Aislin in one hand, the other hand holding the balanced stroller, I stepped onto the escalator. Indi, at my side, usually gung-ho to ride, decided to chicken out. She stayed glued to the floor at the stop of the escalator. I could do nothing but coach her through the boarding process. She didn’t budge. Mid de-escalation, Aislin filled her diaper (I, literally, just changed a big peepee diaper). There I was loudly coaching my tiny 4 year old onto an escalator which I was halfway down. All the while black, not green, fog of a dirty baby gas wafted around us. A word picture if you will; think of blinking broadway lights in the shape of an arrow announcing - "horrible smell is here!" (sidebar: this was the escalator that leaves the food court. Sorry to the folks who had to de-escalate from lunch through the funky, weird Smog of Aislin). I thought I could merely step off the escalator and go right back up. However, at Ikea the UP escalator wasn’t parallel to the DOWN. It was on the other side of the room! Now I started to panic! Indi was up there on her own. I parked the stroller, and sprinted UP the escalator with smelly Aislin on my hip. I was fast! Yeah, I quickly distributed stink everywhere! It was a loft environment, so there were only 4 seconds where Indi was out of sight. The entire time we played the “Indi, are you?” game. Our version of Marco Polo. I taught Indi this as a baby and fortunately it stuck.
Me: “Indi are YOU?”
Indi: “Here!”. (repeat ad nauseum until reunited)

I had some gawkers looking at me but I didn’t care. I arrived to Indigo who was smiling ear to ear. Perhaps she wanted to have a little adventure on her own. I never let her see me sweat! We took the elevator down to the first floor and took care of black fog. Fortunately I was prepared.

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Green Gas (for cars)

Penaten Daiper Creme