Amaziac: She has two boobs and is not afraid to use them

My twin sister, Sally, recently had identical twins (Aug 08). It's worth mentioning that they were conceived naturally without modern intervention. I think that makes it more of a miracle. The twins are my sister's 4th and 5th children (all under age 4 - yikes). They're all red-heads.

Over the Thanksgiving Holiday my family went to visit her family in, middle-of-nowhere, western Nebraska.

Sally is an amaziac. An amazing maniac. Amazing in that she's capable of doing all the grunt work that she does. A maniac in that she chose to have so many babies at the same time. She is a work horse. She cooks from scratch, cleans, whups ass and - get this - nurses her baby twins at the same time. It has to feel similar to, what the then, modern machines of the Industrial Revolution felt like - if they were anthropomorphized and then actually had feelings. Geez, talk about feeling like you never get to a moment to yourself.

All I can say is that our kids LOVED the trip and had fun trashing the house. We adults enjoyed eating old-school food: pork roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade bread, a pot of coffee, cinnamon rolls and Bruce's nuclear, uppity margaritas (uppity because I can't afford half the liquor in them - I suppose when a pastor has a cocktail he does it right). As for me, I got one of the worst periods ever - early. Thanks hormone-Sally for sharing them with my otherwise oblivious pituitary - the tampon companies thank you as do the toilet paper companies and my favorite - whoever invented Ibuprofen. Sorry to all the boys out there who are squirming - once they figured out what the heck I was talking about.

So Marvel at the Amaziac ... and coo over the adorable twins (Moxie and Lily)