Sunday, January 27, 2008

Friends are like Food Trends

I had a Seinfeld moment the other day and tried to remember it and forgot it. So I'm publishing the remnants of my recollection. Or would that be the memory of my collection? Jerry Seinfeld - a comedian who makes a fortune with his "observational humor" is a gazillionaire. Some of his stuff is funny, but it doesn't last forever. His latest brainchild "Bee Movie" was a total bomb both critically and at the box office.
Feel free to comment your own versions of this idea. My blogger friend, Bex, would probably kick this idea's butt. I'm tired so maybe more, randomly, later. Oh, and please remember, this is observational humor. It is not intended to stereotype anyone or anything... except, well trendy food. And pets DO look like their owners sometimes. :-) So NO freak outs.

Friends are like food trends. Today we are all being pulled into many crazy directions regarding food: Organic, whole grain, natural, low carb, etc. We all were being hammered on convenience foods: Minute rice, Skillet sensations, etc. Then there was a shift to low carb. Then whole grain and ultimately "whole foods". Is Whole Foods Market behind all this insanity!? I see a clear comparison to today's modern relationships. Not that I'm an expert, but think about it.

Have a friend at the gym whom you only talk to at the gym? That's your low-cal friend. Low maintenance with low yield friendship and bonding. Can be fun if you pair her with the right outings just like low cal food. Can be good if it's right. Otherwise, kinda boring and not enough to hold you till lunch.

Got a friend who is pretty and rich? That's a carb only diet right there. Lots of fun, but you pay for it in the end. After all who can be compared to a skinny bitch who's idea of getting drinks means $15 martinis. Hers are usually paid for by men hitting her. You, you pay for it. Same with high carb diets. It's fun, but costly. (meant with all respect ).

The friend who gives birth naturally, without drugs, or cursing-- oh and has no problem being unshaven. An inspiration and healthy for your guts. However, too much fiber can make one gassy. Just like this friend. You can just have too much overshadowing. You find yourself not eating meat, even tho you're definitely NOT vegetarian. You volunteer in an organic community garden, write letters to your senator about pot legalization even tho you don't smoke pot. Good for your guts, but too much. Too much fiber... but somethines are all flushed down the thrown :-)

OK, so you see where I've gone with this... Swing and a WHIFF! Darn it, ever since I started painting I've been losing my snarkiness. Someone open a can of whup ass on me! I suppose in food speak that would be something spicy. OK, now I'm done.

2 explorers in an expanding universe:

Lola said...

This was my best laugh of the day! What about friends who like to eat, anything, incessantly--even when they're not pregnant?

Laura S said...

Ok, so what kind of food am I? Good observation girlfriend!